MORAL COURAGE
MORAL COURAGE: TAKING THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
Instructor/Facilitator: Jeff Edelstein
Portland, September 9, 16 and 23, 6 pm - 8 pm. Register here.
Brunswick, second Tuesday of each month, September 2024 through March 2025. Register here.
Moral courage is at the heart of a life of meaning, because a life of meaning is a life lived by our values and that is not easy. It takes courage to honestly look at what our personal values are, and whether we are truly acting in accordance with them. Many of us avoid that because we fear that we don’t even know what our values are and we fear we are not living up to them.
That is why a course like this can help us live the lives we desire. We may think of moral courage as a solitary endeavor - and often it is – but there are also ways that moral courage is a collective community endeavor. We need places to come together to share stories of when we’ve risen to our best selves and when we’ve failed; to learn new tools; and to support each other in being our most courageous selves.
Courage can be described in many ways, but at its core, it is about the willingness and capacity to act in the face of fear: a fear of failing, of being ridiculed, of being hurt, even dying. There are many types of courage: physical, emotional, intellectual, social, spiritual, moral and perhaps others. Of all the types of courage, moral courage may be the hardest. Moral courage has costs. We may have to overcome a lifetime of habits learned from succumbing to fear. But when we support each other, we can begin to move past our fears. And in the end, moral courage has great rewards.
Moral courage is rarely for ourselves alone - it is in service to others, whether those right around us or in service to our communities, our nation, the world. Moral courage has powerful ripple effects, which we may see immediately, or which we may never know.
How often are conflicts in our relationships, families, and circles of friends left to fester because everyone is too afraid to approach the issues? As a mediator, and as a human, I have seen far too many relationships damaged or destroyed because people feared opening their hearts, speaking their truths, and taking brave action to repair harm. Yet, I have also seen how just one person acting courageously can break the cycle of conflict.
How often are we witnesses to harm being done to an individual, or a whole community of people, and we wish we had the courage to speak up, but our fears overrode our “better angels?” How often do we fall prey to the “bystander effect,” in which we fail to act while we wait for someone with more courage to do what needs to be done?
Humanity is going through times of great change. Meeting our global challenges will not be easy. Many of us want to retreat inward. Many succumb to fear, rage, and contempt. Many fall into black-and-white thinking. Many, even when well-intentioned, fall into tribal thinking – drawing hard boundaries around who is “in” and who is “out.”
That is why the world needs people with the courage to not cast anyone out, to ask hard questions and speak difficult truths, to hold both the courage of their convictions and the courage to question their convictions, and to admit when they were wrong, make amends and then chart a new course.
For some of us, maybe many of us, simply coming to a course on moral courage will require courage. It is human to want to hide our shortfalls, even from ourselves. Yet we all also want to be seen and accepted for who we are. This is perhaps the core paradox of being human – we want to be seen and we fear being seen.
So, in a world that desperately needs people willing to do what’s right, not just what’s convenient, we need spaces to talk about this noble human trait of moral courage. Moral courage is easier when we know that someone has our back. For some people, that is God, our higher power, or our inner moral compass. Or it can be an actual living breathing person, or a group of people, who will catch us when we fall.
The following is a list of topics we will cover in this course. It is not complete and may change as the course unfolds:
Topic #1 – Motivation: Why are you taking this course? What is it in your life that compelled you to show up here? Do you have any fears, hopes, or aspirations to share?
Topic #2 – Meaning: What does moral courage mean to you?
Topic #3 – Fears: What are the fears that get in the way of acting with moral courage? How can we move past those? This will be an ongoing theme throughout the course: what practices can we use, who can we look to for support, what thought patterns or beliefs do we need to be aware of and possibly change, all in service to moving beyond fear? Some readings and talks are: How to Overcome Your Fear of the Unknown, 10 Ways To Fight Your Fears, Reprogramming Your Brain To Overcome Fear.
Topic #4 - What does Moral Courage Look and Sound like?: We’ll brainstorm “what moral courage looks and sounds like” and “what lack of moral courage looks and sounds like.” Some examples are here, but these lists are just a starting point.
Topic #5 – Our Successes and “Failures”: We’ll share some of the hardest things we’ve ever done involving any kind of courage. We’ll share what circumstances led to those, what barriers and fears we faced, and how we overcame them. We’ll explore the outcomes and what we might have done differently with hindsight. And we’ll explore those times that we think we “failed” and why we might be wrong.
Topic #6 - Role Models: We’ll share about people in our personal lives or public figures – past and present – who we most admire for their moral courage. Some examples of inspiring role models are here in the Campaign for Courage.
Topic #7 - Bystander Effect: We’ll discuss the “bystander effect” - a well-researched dynamic in which the presence of others discourages us from intervening in an emergency situation, against a bully, during an assault, when someone is being treated unjustly, or on large-scale issues that feel beyond our control and we’ll discuss Overcoming the Bystander Effect.
Topic #8 – Moral Injury: We’ll discuss “moral injury,” a type of harm that results when a person’s core principles are violated. This syndrome was first identified in combat soldiers who either witnessed or participated in actions that went against their moral compass. It is now recognized that moral injury can occur in many non-combat situations and may be increasing in our modern world in which we are acutely aware of harm being done around the world that we are helpless to affect. Moral courage may be both a preventative to moral injury and a way to heal the damage done by moral injury.
Topic #9 - Why Our Friends May be the Greatest Obstacles: This is a rich topic of discussion. Moral courage is a rare commodity. That’s just the reality of human nature. Which means that some friends might encourage and support us, but others might not for a variety of reasons. They may discourage us to from taking a moral stand, because that will make them feel ashamed that they are too afraid to do so. They may not want to rock the boat of friendship, by challenging us to do what's right and risk being rejected. They may know that if we take a moral stand, we may become an outcast, and they would not want to be outcast also, by association.
Topic #10 - Problem-Solving and Support: At each class session, we’ll offer the opportunity for participants to present current situations in which they are unsure of the morally courageous thing to do, or situations in which they know the right thing to do, but don’t know how to overcome their fears. This will be a chance for group support and/or problem-solving.
Topic #11 – Discussion of Readings and Videos: In advance of each class, a particular reading or video will be assigned, and we will discuss that in class. These will be selected from the following list, which will be continually adding to. Participants may suggest readings or videos they have found inspiring or thought-provoking.
Garland Robertson – A Life of Meaning
Garland Robertson is a former Air Force pilot and chaplain whose January 1991 letter to the editor questioning the use of force against Iraq led to him losing his position as a military chaplain and being drummed out of the military after he would not cease from claiming his right to speak from his conscience. I came across Garland’s story a few years ago and was so captivated by his courage that I wanted to find him online. It took some time following different leads, but eventually I found him and for five years we’ve had an email correspondence. His military discharge sent him on a path to becoming a Mennonite pastor working to support conscientious objectors. He was twice arrested in Washington DC for protesting the Iraq war, joined Christian Peacemaker Teams and worked periodically in Palestine and Iraq, eventually resigning the pastorate in 2011. Now nearly 80 years old, he lives a fairly solitary life managing the Freedom of Conscience website. Read more about him here. His courage cost him dearly, beyond just his career, but he seems to be at peace with having chosen courage over comfort.
White Right: Meeting The Enemy
Acclaimed Muslim filmmaker Deeyah Khan met U.S. neo-Nazis and white nationalists face to face and attended the now-infamous Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville as she sought to understand the personal and political motivations behind the resurgence of far-right extremism in the U.S.
Speaking with fascists, racists and proponents of alt-right ideologies, Deeyah attempted to discover new possibilities for connection and solutions. As she tried to see beyond the headlines to the human beings, her own prejudices were challenged and her tolerance tested. When she found herself in the middle of America's biggest and most violent far right rally in recent years, Deeyah's safety was jeopardized. Yet, she was driven to find it within herself to try and befriend the very people who played roles in making her unsafe.
Anne Snyder’s exquisite book provides inspirational stories and a set of 16 thought-provoking questions that can help transform your life and any organization you are part of. Download or order it for free here. Anne is the Editor-in-Chief of Comment Magazine, a beautifully crafted journal exploring civic, social and community life through a multi-faith spiritual lens. In The Fabric of Character, Anne asks:
“What is character and how do we shape it? This question has preoccupied parents, teachers, clergy and leaders since the beginning of time. But it takes on vital importance in our era. While the complexity and autonomy of life in the 21st century call for character more than ever, the conditions under which such character is forged are in trouble. How do we replenish the store of moral capital in such a diverse, individualistic, consumerist and stressed society? How do we usher in a shared appetite for the good?”
Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count
Brené Brown’s powerful talk builds on a famous quote from a speech that Teddy Roosevelt gave at the Sorbonne in 1910:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
Another powerful talk from Brené Brown, this one based on Maya Angelou’s quote: “You only are free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great…I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that.”
Brown builds on this quote: “We confuse belonging with fitting in, but the truth is that belonging is just in our heart, and when we belong to ourselves and believe in ourselves above all else, we belong everywhere and nowhere.”
Faith in Democracy (A Breakbeat Poetry Performance)
Kevin Coval is a cross-cultural hip hop poet and filmmaker who wrote this inspirational poem at the 2023 Frontiers of Democracy Conference, challenging us all to not give in to our fear of the “other”:
each moment teachable says the Zen master
therefore there is no conversation I am afraid of.
And if it’s difficult, so what!
And it it’s uncomfortable, so what!
And if my neighbor looks, sounds, smells, thinks, votes, f—s, prays, believes different than I
so what!
I am a radical listener…
Listen to Kevin’s compelling reading of the full poem here.
This poem, written over 100 years ago, is still a stirring call to remain true to ourselves and to persevere against the odds. While it is relevant across the gender spectrum, it is perhaps particularly inspirational as a vision of what “healthy masculinity” looks like, written in the form of a father’s advice to his son. Listen to poet Kendryck Youngblood’s reading of the poem and his commentary at Why “If” by Rudyard Kipling is the BEST Poem About Masculinity.
Margaret Chase Smith
When Maine’s Margaret Chase Smith was elected to the U.S. Senate in 1948, she became the first woman to serve in both houses of Congress (and only the second woman ever elected to the Senate at that time). But what Smith is most remembered for is her stirring “Declaration of Conscience” speech of 1955, criticizing Senator Joseph McCarthy and his anti-communist campaign. She denounced those members who were turning the Senate into “a forum of hate and character assassination,” called for a renewal of “the right to independent thought,” implored her fellow Republican colleagues not to ride to political victory on the “Four Horsemen of Calumny–Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear,” and concluded with a five-point “Declaration of Conscience.” Smith became the third woman to run for the U.S. Presidency in 1964, following Victoria Claflin Woodhull in 1870, and Belva Ann Lockwood in 1884.
This New Yorker article from 2005, describes what moral courage in wartime can look like:
“During the early weeks of the Iraq war, the television set in my office was tuned all day to CNN, with the sound muted. On the morning of April 3rd, as the Army and the Marines were closing in on Baghdad, I happened to look up at what appeared to be a disaster in the making. A small unit of American soldiers was walking along a street in Najaf when hundreds of Iraqis poured out of the buildings on either side. Fists waving, throats taut, they pressed in on the Americans, who glanced at one another in terror. I reached for the remote and turned up the sound. The Iraqis were shrieking, frantic with rage. From the way the lens was lurching, the cameraman seemed as frightened as the soldiers. This is it, I thought. A shot will come from somewhere, the Americans will open fire, and the world will witness the My Lai massacre of the Iraq war. At that moment, an American officer stepped through the crowd holding his rifle high over his head with the barrel pointed to the ground. Against the backdrop of the seething crowd, it was a striking gesture—almost Biblical. “Take a knee,” the officer said, impassive behind surfer sunglasses. The soldiers looked at him as if he were crazy. Then, one after another, swaying in their bulky body armor and gear, they knelt before the boiling crowd and pointed their guns at the ground. The Iraqis fell silent, and their anger subsided. The officer ordered his men to withdraw.”
Moral Courage with Diane Foley
Seven years after ISIS killed her son, Diane Foley met with one of his killers. Somehow, she was able to find the humanity in her son’s murderer. ISIS held journalist James Foley hostage for 2 years before publicly executing him in 2014. After her son’s murder, Diane Foley started The Foley Foundation, working to free American hostages held abroad, teach journalist safety, and inspire people to act with moral courage.
Leslie Knope City Council Debate Speech (2012)
This segment from the TV show Parks and Recreation is inspiring (Season 4, Episode 20). The highlight starts at 7:00 leading to Leslie’s passionate closing statement. If you want humor as well as inspiration, watch the whole ten-minute segment!
“I'm very angry. I'm angry that Bobby Newport would hold this town hostage and threaten to leave if you don't give him what he wants. It's despicable. Corporations are not allowed to dictate what a city needs. That power belongs to the people. Bobby Newport and his daddy would like you to think it belongs to them. I love this town. And when you love something, you don't threaten it. You don't punish it. You fight for it. You take care of it. You put it first. As your city councilor, I will make sure that no one takes advantage of Pawnee. If I seem too passionate, it's because I care. If I come on strong, it's because I feel strongly. And if push too hard, it's because things aren't moving fast enough. This is my home. You are my family. And I promise you... I'm not going anywhere.”
An inspiring and heartbreaking prose poem, by the poet Brian Doyle, about unimaginable courage at the tragic Sandy Hook school shooting:
“Early one morning several teachers and staffers at a Connecticut grade school were in a meeting. The meeting had been underway for about five minutes when they heard a chilling sound in the hallway. (We heard pop-pop-pop, said one of the staffers later.)
Most of them dove under the table. That is the reasonable thing to do, what they were trained to do, and that is what they did.
But two of the staffers jumped, or leapt, or lunged out of their chairs and ran toward the sound of bullets. Which word you use depends on which news account of that morning you read, but the words all point in the same direction — toward the bullets.…”
Here is a reading I did a number of years ago for a friend I’d had a falling out with, as part of an invitation for us to remember the courage (and kindness) at the heart of our friendship.
One day you finally knew
What you had to do, and began,
Though the voices around you
Kept shouting
Their bad advice‚
Though the whole house
Began to tremble
And you felt the old tug
At your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
Each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do…
Don’t Call People Out, Call Them In
“We live in a call-out culture, says activist and scholar Loretta J. Ross. You’re probably familiar with it: the public shaming and blaming, on social media and in real life, of people who may have done wrong and are being held accountable. In this bold, actionable talk, Ross gives us a toolkit for starting productive conversations instead of fights -- what she calls a “call-in culture” -- and shares strategies that help challenge wrongdoing while still creating space for growth, forgiveness and maybe even an unexpected friend.”
General Stanley McChrystal on Moral Courage
Stanley McChrystal spent his military career navigating the real and deadly risks of combat, finishing a four-star General in Afghanistan overseeing 147,000 soldiers. He has walked the path of courage in ways most of us never will, concluding that the greatest source of risk lays in us - in how we identify, assess, respond and learn from risk.
This conversation covers a lot of ground – from the need for more moral courage in leaders today to raising resilient kids.
OTHER COURAGE RESOURCES:
Live Brave podcast series – an incredible series of over 100 interviews and talks on living a brave life.
Campaign for Courage – a national initiative, led course instructor Jeff Edelstein, to support politicians in committing to Simple Acts of Courage. The website includes a wide array of resources, including links to podcasts, books, films, and Profiles in Courage.
EMOTIONAL COURAGE
The Gift And Power Of Emotional Courage
The way we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters: our actions, careers, relationships, health and happiness. In this deeply moving, humorous and potentially life-changing talk, South African psychologist Susan David challenges a culture that prizes positivity over emotional truth and discusses the powerful strategies of emotional agility.
“Sawubona is the zulu word for hello: “I see you and by seeing you I bring you into being. But what does it take in the way we see ourselves that helps us to thrive in an increasingly fraught world? How we deal with our inner world drives everything, how we live, how we love, how parent and how we lead…”
How to Build Your Emotional Courage Muscle
Peter Bregman, author of Leading with Emotional Courage: How to Have Hard Conversations, Create Accountability, and Inspire Action on Your Most Important Work, defines emotional courage as “the willingness to feel everything.” “If you’re willing to feel everything,” he says, “then you can do anything.”
Following through on things that don’t matter much isn’t so hard, but what’s important to us is often scarier. “If I know I need to have a difficult conversation with you,” Peter explains, “I may procrastinate because I’m afraid of feeling anger, shame, or disconnection. If I want to start a new project, I may have to risk feelings of failure. But if I’m not willing to feel my feelings, then I won’t try in the first place.